So, on Friday, I wrote this on Facebook:
Here’s the thing – if you want to diet and exercise and hate your body, fine. Whatever. You’re grown. My issue is when you want ME to hate my body or my daughters to hate theirs. Fat, thin, somewhere in-between, I’ve been all those things, and size has yet to affect my value as a human being. Skinny or fat or somewhere in-between, I’m still a goddamn rock star. (And so are you, regardless of what your scale says.) Word to ya mutha.
Now, I don’t know about you, but when I write a Facebook status in the heat of the moment, I leave things out. I say things less clearly than I could have. So, I want to clarify the above – I have no issue with diet or exercise, per se. My own approach is to eat what I want, when I want and however much I want. I listen to my body about how foods make me feel physically. I follow my own hunger/satiety cues. With exercise, I move my body in ways I enjoy and ways that feel good to me. Period. Your approach might be different, and that’s cool.
It’s cool right up until I see you body policing or shaming others, even if you don’t realize that’s what you’re doing. But think it over – every time you pin some bullshit “thinspo” on Pinterest, you are telling the people who follow you, “Yup, I believe size matters. I believe girth determines worth. I don’t think I’m good enough because my scale gives me a number that other people have told me is too high, etc, etc, etc.” And my friend, I’m done buying that particular pile of crap. I’m also done with people who think body policing and fat shaming are good ideas, even when they’re only doing it to themselves (and I’ve yet to meet a motherfucker who confines that shit to their own bodies only, but I’ll give the benefit of the doubt here).
I’ve spent too long as the rhino on that picture up there. I’ve spent too many years wanting a different body and different hair and a DIFFERENT ME ALTOGETHER, OMG WHY DO I SUCK SO MUCHHHHH? I HAVE TO TRY HARDER!! I don’t want to spend any more time doing that. Instead, I’d like to eat the things I like that make me feel delightful. (Gluten is still my enemy, FTR, but it’s not because I view it as “bad” or “good.” My body simply doesn’t respond well to gluten. I’m listening to my body when it says, “Hey, this stuff? Makes me sick. Really!”)
I want to run because I feel like running. I want to run because running makes me feel good. Not because I’m looking at some thin broad on a magazine and wishing to look like her. I want to dance because I love to dance, and it makes me feel awesome. (Even if I look horrible while doing it.) I want to move my body to feel fabulous, not because I want to look like someone else.
What’s more important – I want my GIRLS to do these things. I want them to eat things that make them feel good. I want them to treat food as the absolute pleasure it should be while also nourishing themselves. I want them to understand that food doesn’t address anything but hunger and that exercise is designed to make you feel great, not to make you look a certain way. I also want the world at large to understand these things.
Further, I’d like the world at large to acknowledge that weight means jackshit. All you can tell about a fat person is they’re fat. You don’t know if they exercise or eat right or anything else. All you know is they’re fat. So stop the judging, okay? Plus, we live in a country where the majority of folks are overweight. So…like…really, Americans? REALLY? But I digress.
TL;DR – stop hating your body, and start listening to it. Girth says nothing about worth. Etc, etc, etc. Just love yourself, ‘k? ‘K. Oh, and SAY NO TO THINSPO. Please.