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August 26th, 2011

Joy. JOY!

So, a little while back, I wrote about how utterly joyous I feel lately. Incredibly, I still feel this joy on a daily basis. I wake up each and every morning wondering how on Earth I got so damn lucky.

I have an incredible husband, wonderful children, glorious friends and family…truly, my life is amazing, and it just keeps getting better. I’m astonished on a daily basis by how many blessings I have. Here’s the weird thing – not that much has changed really. My friends and family have always been glorious. My children are wonderful on a very regular basis. My husband has been incredible for most of our relationship.

So what’s changed? Well, Bill got a job in Kansas City, but this joy was happening before that. (I don’t want to diminish how happy and excited we all are about this opportunity [well, except Lenna who isn't so thrilled about yet another school, poor kid]; I’m just saying it can’t be the cause of this joy as the joy predates the job.) So, what is it? What’s changed?

Well…honestly? I’ve just stopped looking for the bad in everything. I’ve started trying really, really hard to assume that everyone has good intentions, even when their actions aren’t so super. As an example, it used to really upset me when my mom would give me unsolicited advice. I mean, it would PISS. ME. OFF. I AM GROWN, DAMMIT. I GOT THIS, OKAY? BACK OFF.

But I’ve started looking at it as one way she shows how much she cares about me. It’s her way of wanting the best for me, wanting me to be happy, wanting me to avoid mistakes that might really hurt. She’s still my mother, after all. She still sees it as her job to guide me through life, and you know what? I’m good with that. So many people don’t have that, and here I am being mad? What? (However, Moot, do not take this as an opportunity to mother me more. I AM GROWN, DAMMIT. lol)

I also have started taking things at face value. Period. I don’t sit and analyze what someone REALLY meant when they said XYZ. So, for the passive-aggressive folks in my life, well…sorry for you. I’m taking myself out of that particular game. It doesn’t help either of us, and it certainly doesn’t make for joy, so I’m opting out.

I WANT joy. I WANT to keep waking up in the mornings and thanking my Creator for another wonderful day. I WANT to keep loving myself and loving the world around me. (Yes, even the people at WalMart. SHOCKING, right?) More importantly, I want to be someone who inspires others to feel this way. I want to help the people in my life find that same joy.

Every one of you deserves that. You deserve to love and be loved. You deserve happiness and joy and wonder. Really, you do. I wouldn’t lie to you about something this important, okay? So, go. Find your joy.